Misc

I was recently reminded of a quote from a German General, Kurt von Hammerstein-Equord, in 1933: I divide my officers into four classes; the clever, the lazy, the industrious, and the stupid. Each officer possesses at least two of these qualities. Those who are clever and industrious are fitted for the highest staff appointments. Use can be made of those who are stupid and lazy. The man who is clever and lazy however is for the very highest command; he has the temperament and nerves to deal with all situations....

I received a surprising number of questions related to the cat-a-log series. I’ve attempted to collect them all, and answer them here. Q: Does your wife think all cats are sweet? What about dogs? A: Any member of felis catus is by definition unconditionally sweet. She also views many dogs as sweet, though they tend to be held to a much higher standard, (for example, “humping” is unacceptable and any dog known to have committed such an act is Not Sweet)....

Apparently there is in fact a 15th cat (or a 14th for you purists out there). If cataloged, it would have been Unknown #3, an as-of-yet unnamed cat that comes to my porch to eat the food my wife puts out. I wasn’t able to get a picture, and I’m not sure I recall ever seeing it (they all look the same to me anyway). A shame really, rumor has it that it’s missing a paw, I could have had some fun with that....

Last but not least, Pepe. Alright, granted this one might be borderline, but to be fair, many people refer to these guys as Polecats. It comes onto my porch to eat from a dish of food, and my wife and daughter have named it, I think that counts for something. Other interesting facts: Smells awful.

Unknown #2… or is it Zorro? Yet another cat that I suspect has applied for citizenship under the terms of If it eats, we must greets. I refer to it here as Unknown #2, but someone let slip the name “Zorro” when the subject came up. Other interesting facts: None.

This one has been cropping up more and more. When I first brought up Unknown #1, my wife explained that it was not her cat, she didn’t know why it was hanging around, and that more than likely it belonged to someone and was just wandering a bit. This would be comforting if I hadn’t heard it before (see day 6 and day 11 for current examples). And yes, it eats the food that is placed outside....

Moving on… This is Garfield, another cat who obtained amnesty through If it eats, we must greets. The look on his face in the picture above it pretty typical for him. I think he’s bummed because he showed up 10 cats too late and has to sleep outside. Other interesting facts: My wife thinks he’s sweet.

This, is Baby. I have three words for you. Pure, Unadulterated, Evil. You have never met Baby (and if you are lucky, you never will), but rest assured, she hates you with a passion. When you look into her eyes, you can almost see the gears turning, the plot being hatched. I have little doubt that given the means and opportunity, she’d kill us all. Other interesting facts: The most ironically named of all our cats....

Got cat? Believe it or not, there are some that don’t like living in an infestation a house full of cats. Take Zoe here for instance, she hates it. Zoe is Chloe’s sister, one of two that represent the first of our cats. She used to be happy and well adjusted, but runaway immigration has taken a toll on her sanity, (at this point there isn’t much left). She experiences violent mood swings that result in physical confrontations with other cats one minute, and pulling her own hair out the next....

Damn, this is starting to feel like work. Meet Thumper. Thumper’s most distinctive feature is the absence of a tail. It was recently explained to me that this is the way he was born, but I’m having a hard time accepting that. You see, Thumper is fearless, and I don’t mean fearless in a heroic kind of way, I mean fearless in a lack of common sense, isn’t afraid even when he really really should be, kind of way....